Omaha Adult Entertainment: Leopard Mauled By Toddlers
… LSM) – Ziggy, a leopard from Omaha Nebraska, was seriously injured today after he accidentally wandered into a daycare and was mauled by several toddlers. Witnesses say the leopard – seemingly unaware of the danger – tried to lick one of the children. This act set the rug-rats into a blood-frenzy, where they used their sticky fingers, toy swords and newly developed teeth to attack the vulnerable animal. Shaking cans filled with coins – standard operating procedures – the daycare workers were able to scare the children away long enough to pull the leopard to safety.
Much like the feral goats of Australia, children are an example of an introduced species. They worked their way through Europe, finally reaching the United States after World War I when several stowed away in the bellies of European prostitutes who were searching for the fathers. Currently, areas such as Park Slope Brooklyn are experiencing child over-population as they have no natural predators except for Pedophiles, which are currently on the endangered list and are usually kept in captivity.
See the full article from “The Spoof (satire)”
Filed by kingofomaha at July 27th, 2011 under Omaha adult entertainment